Listen to this podcast episode HERE
Rebekah is the mom of the Bible with the spotlight today. What we learn from Rebekah is more of a “how-to” for motherhood in reverse, like a “what-not-to-do” kind of story.
So how does this “what-not-to-do” story begin? Well, it starts off good when Rebekah is first introduced in the Bible. She is by a watering well, helping a stranger get a drink of water. This man turns out to be a servant for Abraham, who was on a mission to find Abraham’s son, Issac, a wife.
Not a big page-turner yet in the story, as we discover Rebekah turns out to be the girl that this servant man chooses to take back home to Abraham and Sarah, to marry their son Issac.
From this point though, Rebekah struggled to get pregnant, and her motherhood journey did not actually begin for another 20 years.
In Genesis 25, the Lord blessed Rebekah and Issac with twin boys. In verse 22, it says the boys “…wrestled in her womb.” This was foreshadowing their future. Esau was the firstborn and then Jacob came next, “grabbing Esau’s heel” the Bible tells us. From day one, Jacob was always fighting to be first, and this only continues into adulthood!
As you read on in Genesis 25:27-28, it’s easy to see that Jacob was clearly Rebekah’s favorite and Esau was Issac’s favorite. You and I both know as parents that having favorites with our children is a dangerous game, and this story is a good example of why that’s true!
As Rebekah’s husband, Issac, is getting older and becomes very sick, he calls for his oldest and favorite son Esau to hunt for him some dinner. Issac tells him when he returns that he will give Esau his firstborn blessing (this was a traditional custom in Bible times for ONLY the oldest son to receive a blessing from the father.)
This is when the story starts to get tricky….
Rebekah overhears Issac telling Esau all of this, and she decides to create a plan. It was one of those dangerous plans when mommas get involved when we don’t belong….because it is not only disrespectful to our husbands but ultimately to God!
Rebekah tells Jacob to help her fix a meal for Issac and that he was going to disguise himself as his brother Esau and trick his father Issac into giving him the blessing instead. When Jacob questions his mom about this plan, Rebekah tells him in Genesis 27:13, “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say.”
So Jacob did what his mom asked and you’ll soon see Rebekah eating her own words because when Esau came home and found out what happened, you can imagine, he was furious and threatened to kill Jacob. At this point, Rebekah has no other choice other than to tell Jacob to run far away to her brother Laban’s house until things settled down.
Rebekah must have thought telling Jacob to flee in the moment was good advice, but he was only running instead of facing his brother. Without Jacob owning his mistakes, offering an apology, or making peace with Esau, he would never be able to return home. Looking at the bigger picture, this was TERRIBLE ADVICE from Rebekah that would send her “favorite” son far away and forever have these two brothers at odds with one another!
Going back to Genesis 27:13: “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say.”
The curse really did fall on Rebekah, and she had to eat her own words. That’s sad, isn’t it? Think about your kids growing up and constantly being at war with one another. Never having them together on holidays or family vacations….this was for sure a punishment for Rebekah!
It’s easy for you and me to point a finger at Rebekah and think…you should have known better! But let’s not be too quick to judge…
You and I may not be dealing with a once-in-a-lifetime blessing for our children like Rebekah, but our kids are watching us. We have their ear. They are looking to us for helpful encouragement and wisdom as they make life decisions, both big and small.
I don’t want to curse my children with bad advice or hold them back from what the Lord has for them, just because I want control or my plan to work out.
I need to be asking the Lord for wisdom so that when my boys come to me with the little decisions in these younger years, I can put my selfishness aside of what I want, and instead, guide them to know how to seek out what God wants for them. So years down the road when those BIG life decisions and roadblocks come, they will know they can come to me for wisdom and prayer, and they will know that as long as they follow Jesus and His plan (not mine!), I will be the proudest mom in the world! But they can’t follow Him if they don’t know how to pray through decisions and read the Word of God with purpose….We have to show them now, while they are young!
Rebekah didn’t do this! She played favorites and lost Esau’s ear from the beginning, and her desire for control over the plans of Jacob’s life, eventually caused her to lose him as well to a faraway land.
You and I can learn a lot from this story as moms!
#1: Don’t play favorites.
If you have more than one child, they are each a unique gift from the Lord. Find out what makes them different and instead of comparing them, praise God for their differences! Find things to do with them individually that make them feel special and celebrated!
Here are four simple ways to love on your kids and make them feel special:
- If one of your kids learns to read, gets a good grade, or earns a special honor at school, take them out for ice cream or let them pick the place they want to go out for a special dinner.
- Do you have a child that is shy in public or with making friends? If so, when they express interest in having a friend over, help them make it happen by talking to the child’s mom for them or going with them to ask, helping them feel more comfortable. Open up some time for a playdate in your schedule and get EXCITED for new friends with them!
- If your child responds best to affirming words, when they do something well, let them know! I like to give bedtime blessings to my boys…I tell them something I love about them or something they did really well that day, sending them to bed with their love tank full, ready to start a new day!
- Some kids need more physical touch than others, but all children need to be hugged! Pastor Adrian Rogers said, “Hug your kids often. Hug them supportively. Hug them tenderly. Hug them playfully, even when that teenage boy says, “aw mom” and tries to pull away. Inside he still wants you to hug him so just do it.”
#2: Ask God regularly to help you not be a control freak—and this is hard one for us as moms!
When you struggle, ask yourself these 2 questions:
1. Is this what is best for me or best for my child?
2. Is this what I want or what God wants? (This one can only be answered by being in prayer and in God’s Word.)
I want to leave you with a challenge: ASK the Lord to give you WISDOM.
The Bible says in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to you.”
All you have to do is ask for it and it’s yours promised for the taking, and having Godly wisdom will always help you get your kids exactly where they need to be…and that is right in the center of God’s will!
Staying in God’s Word is a crucial key for being a mom of wisdom and not falling into the trap of leading our children astray as Rebekah did.
To help you get into God’s Word daily, on our homepage or resources page, we have a 30-day scripture writing plan called KNOW AND LIVE THE TRUTH, from our ministry partner Love Worth Finding. This is a free download, so all you will need is your Bible and a journal or notepad to get started!
Thanks so much for reading or listening to this episode! There are two ways you can help more moms find this ministry: #1— Leave a quick podcast review or comment on this blog and #2—share this ministry with your mom friends on social media and tag @faithful31moms!
Listen to this podcast episode HERE