Technology is here to stay! We can’t ignore it as moms and pretend it doesn’t exist…We need to know how to actively be on guard with technology based on parenting with wisdom from the truth of God’s Word!
If you haven’t checked out part 1 yet, I really encourage you to go back to it HERE to learn how to start the conversation with your family about technology, before you move on with our topic for today.
Listen to this blog as a PODCAST HERE.
In part 2 today, we will be covering: Social Media and Messaging.
Social media and phones are something we all are somewhat familiar with, if not addicted to ourselves!
Either way, we must stay knowledgeable about social media, because it’s ever-changing…Then use that knowledge and combine it with the wisdom God gives us in His Word, to make these decisions for our kids.
“When is the right time?“
I get this question a lot…
My answer is this: Don’t ever feel pressured for your kids to join the crowd or be one of the first to get on social media or have a cell-phone, etc….It is a decision that you MUST make prayerfully and cautiously!
If I might be so bold to say…
Your kids are not missing out! Plus, you’re paying for the phone or devices…so take your time…there is NO rush! In fact, after today’s episode…I hope you see the value in waiting!
What do the numbers say? What are the facts?
There are actually many statistics out now, (and not just from Christians) that are reporting kids are much more likely to develop early clinical depression, low self confidence and body image issues that are on social media under the age of 16. (WOW!) As well as suicide rates being higher…
So this is serious stuff, and not just something the Christian world is talking about…
I read a non-Christian report on the effects that social media is having on our young people. (article link at the bottom of this blog) It reported that 50% of teenagers claimed to be sleep deprived and distracted from schoolwork or engaging in real-world social interactions, as well as having more issues with clinical depression and dependency on social media for their information and affirmation.
This is scary to me moms!
The same psychologist from this report, goes on to share definitively, that NO child under 13 should be on social media, and the professional opinion was for social media should be delayed for as long as possible, or until at least age 16 the report it stated.
Obviously, the choice is yours as parents…
But after all I’ve studied about this topic, I’m learning how important it is for us to wise moms and seek the Lord on this…
Letting our kids have an iPad to watch a movie in the car is significantly different and much easier to manage than opening up the portal to social media, You Tube and the internet as a whole! And you are practically placing it in their hands with a smart phone…
We all know peer pressure is a real thing for our kids and teens, but so is parent peer pressure—yes moms, I said it—parent peer pressure is a real thing too!
We are are too busy looking on social media ourselves or listening to what other moms are doing a lot of times, instead of looking to God’s Word for our parenting advice and having the wisdom and the backbone to just say NO or WAIT!
I know that is hard to hear, but I have to say this…
You and I were once this age too…I remember what it was like to want to fit in and feel like I HAD to have what others had to help me do this. And even if our kids know they are loved by Jesus and by us, they will still struggle with this too at times…That’s just part of growing up and maturing.
But moms, we are grown up..
We are not our kids best friends…we are are their mommas and if we have to be the bad guy sometimes, then so be it…
I already tell my oldest son, Jake, at 10 years old, “If you are ever at a friends house and there is something that is going on that makes you uncomfortable or you know is wrong….blame it on me…tell them your mom said you need you to come home and then ask to call me…“
I don’t mind being the bad guy with my kids when I need to be…
And the same goes for when your kids are asked why they can’t have a a phone yet or why they can’t have an instagram…I am fine with Jake answering his friends: “My mom and dad won’t let me…”
This is why those conversations from part 1 are so important to have!
Because our kids need to know the “Why” and understand it, so they know our heart as moms is to protect them and love them, even with the hard things…
Jake’s friends and their moms can think I am the most uncool person ever, but let’s be honest…I am uncool—I drive a messy mini van and the most money I spend on a regular basis is on groceries!
So his friends can make fun of me or go home and tell their parents—that doesn’t effect me in the slightest, because I’m not 12 years old…I can handle it…and so can you!!
Then you and I can lay our heads down at night, knowing we are doing what the Lord has told us to do, and that is to raise our kids to know God’s Word, to protect their little eyes while we are teaching them to recognize temptation and to know right from wrong and good from evil.
So when something is evil or toxic presents itself to our kids in the future, on social media or wherever they go, they will know to flee from it! To run away as quickly as Joseph did when Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him—but that takes maturity—and to be quite honest—a 12 or 13 year, just doesn’t have it y’all!
With that said, some of these things I‘m sharing with you today are hard things…
Coming from a youth ministry background with my husband, I know from experience, these things are very real and only getting worse by the day…
Whether you have toddlers, elementary or middle school kids, it’s good to prepare and stay up to date about social media, because it’s constantly changing…So even the things I share that are popular today, will change, so stay knowledgeable and be wise!
Now, today I’m going to start with the most popular social media platform…
For most young people, this is TikTok—and yes their are some funny videos and dance videos on there, but its getting out of hand for both kids and adults…
TikTok is all video based, so it’s incredibly engaging and no shock here, very addicting as well! Young people are are literally getting their worldview, relationship advice and and decision making skills from TikTok— mental health and therapy videos being one of the top searched things…
Honestly, this scares me!
When kids stop coming to real live people for life advice…not just to us as their parents, but real life people in general — like friends, family, church leaders and doctor professionals — and are instead, are going to TikTok videos for advice and decisions…that’s scary!
Also I wanted to warn you that, similar to Instagram, TikTok, offers a “Clear all” button at the bottom of your search history, so you can delete everything you have searched or you can pick and choose what you don’t want someone to see…
It’s same with instagram, there are little X’s beside every hashtag or account you have searched, making it really easy for your kids to look up photos and videos, that they could be using as pornography…or just simply things they are just curious about, but they don’t need to learn from SOCIAL MEDIA!
For example: as moms, we know that breastfeeding is not a BAD thing…right? It’s a beautiful thing, but it’s also a private thing, and their are moms all over Instagram and TikTok sharing videos of them breastfeeding or in a bra and shorts doing a home birth….things like that…that you and I might think nothing of being a woman or a mom…But to a curious preteen boy, he might see that and then want to see it again and again…Something he has no business seeing at this point in his life but quite frankly!
But it’s an easy way to see body parts and with a lack on maturity and too much freedom with social media, it can lead to unhealthy obsessions with their curiosity! Then it’s a simple “clear search” or “delete” and nobody ever knows..
The same can go for our girls obsessing over body image and what they have to do to get a boy’s attention or to be loved…even going as far to say, that thinking pregnancy is all cute and round tummies with no stretch marks….which we know is ridiculous, right?!
Those are just a few examples of many…not to mention the pressure kids put on themselves for the number of followers they have!
And let me just say…for us too moms…followers are NOT friends!
Amen?! And we should be mature and wise enough to realize this as adults, whereas our kids aren’t always able to separate the two, so they place way to much importance on this in their lives!
I would also talk about Facebook today, but that is probably not going to be an issue since all young people say, everyone on Facebook is OLD! 🙂 So lets move on to something like Snap Chat…
Did you know that Snap Chat was created by college students, whose overall purpose was to share nude pictures, with the safety of knowing the pictures could not be saved or shared other people? HELLO, seriously?!..Screenshots are a thing!
And this is happening everyday, leaving a lot of hurt and embarrassment to young girls that are just trying to gain that affirmation and love through sending these pictures, when they should be finding their love and affirmation in Jesus and not boys!
And I understand all of these social media apps I have covered today don’t have to be bad or used this way…Or that you may have and use some of these social media platforms yourself, but they definitely can be used this way, especially by our young kids, not yet mature enough to know when to stop!
So I’m just giving you some of the facts, even though I know they are not easy to hear! Going back to what I said in part one…this is why those conversations are so SO important to have with your kids and why NEVER letting them keep their phones in their rooms at night is an absolute MUST!
And you might say, well my kids are too young. They are in elementary school and don’t have cell phones or haven’t even hit puberty yet, but don’t be naive…
I recently heard a story from a school administrator I know, that shared with me about a 3rd grader with an iPhone that saw a nude picture while accessing a game app, then he proceeded to show his entire baseball team and all the boys in his class at school too…
One little boy from his class at school was so broken by it, that he came to this school administrator friend of mine for counsel days later…
He broke down crying telling her want he had seen and that he had an iPad in his room at home, and not a day had gone by that he hadn’t thought about getting on that iPad and looking up more pictures…
Thankfully he came and talked to my friend first, but what if he hadn’t, or what if he had access to the internet on that iPad at home?!
His friend obviously had access and wasn’t mature enough for a phone or social media apps or internet or to know better than to share with others…but you just never know…
We must prepare and TALK to our kids about making wise choices….with the first wisest choice being on us moms…knowing when to give or NOT to give phones, Internet access or social media to our kids….
Because like I said earlier….you can say no…you are the parent….not their best friend.
And everything you do is to honor the Lord’s gift to you and the BIG job he gave you to parent them well to make wise decisions and ultimately to follow Him….
So I will wrap it up today with this…
Even though we just have a iPad at home for now with our boys, or maybe you have several kids in different age categories and some have devices or cell phones and some don’t, or maybe you are just planning for the future—every family is different…
Here is my best advice for any and every device that will not change with age or updates in social media…
Remember, FIRST….YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY NO and
SECOND…Nothing good happens in the dark!
Cell phones, iPad or whatever device it is…should never stay in your child’s room. NO MATTER WHAT! Not for studying. Not if they are sick. NOT if they have a friend over. NEVER! Always have them turn it in to the same place every night.
It’s our job moms, to raise our babies with faithful instruction…and technology, although not always a bad thing, will be a BIG part of their lives whether you like it or not…so we must make sure they are grounded in their faith and mature enough to make wise decisions before we give them access to it!
I hope this has been helpful today! Please be sure to Check out the You Tube video from Part 1, to learn how to properly set up and lock down your kid’s devices to make them the most safe for your family.
Also, check out our homepage right now (or later our resources page if you come to this blog at a later time) for a free download of 100 verses to guard your family’s heart! This is just timeless Biblical truth great for Scripture writing or memorizing in your home together as a family. We must guard our hearts and fill our minds with wisdom and share that with our kids, so we can be ready for the attacks this world will bring.
Thanks so much for reading today! Please be sure to share this episode with a mom friend, follow our Instagram @faithful31moms and remember to keep up the good work of pointing your kid to Jesus!
Listen to this blog as a PODCAST HERE.
NOTES:
Check out our F31 Moms YOU TUBE Channel for that video on how to lock down your devices securely for kids.
Article referenced in the podcast about social media HERE
Faithful 31 Moms offers free devotionals and resources for Christian parenting and encouragement for being a mom raising kids to live out their faith, as you point your children to Jesus with your life.*For more products go to https://www.lwf.org/faithful-31-moms and use code F31M10 for 10% off your purchase!